My Beloved

No decision I say

2012-02-08T23:18:00.001+08:00

One week.

In this one week time, I will not be obsessed over decisions and marking rules. I will continue to be as we're right now..

Memory stays

2012-02-07T21:04:00.000+08:00

Trying not to be obsessed over decision, hence, spending little effort here and there to complete some small things (including this new look). Just to give some comfort to myself... a reason not to touch the painful memories. Tell me please... how.. just how can i forgive myself... I can't find any reasons anymore when i used them all up four years ago..

gogogo!

2011-11-18T12:25:00.000+08:00

Exam period is coming again. This time round, I can feel much more pressure.. 5 papers to go.. oh man.. WANYING JIAYOU!stay focus stay focus stay focus.. chiong ahhhhhhh

Beneath those eyes

2011-11-05T22:51:00.000+08:00

Day 1

If.... if you can just listen to me.. if... if you can look beneath what I have been trying to say... I need you.. i need u to trust me.. if u could listen to me.....

sincere or selfish

2011-10-30T15:23:00.002+08:00

The 23rd day

How can u bear to do this... when i'm only left with this little piece of my world.. I have retreated just like you wanted... why....

when i so needed u... u r not here..

so wished to be with u

2011-10-29T14:15:00.001+08:00

The 22nd day

Tired because I know the real hurt will come later... when you have to wake your dream up, and tell yourself that the happiness wouldn't come anymore..

lost and lost

2011-10-26T22:22:00.001+08:00

The 19th day

I should have seen it comin' I should have read the signs.

You look and sound okay. I'm still trying to find myself back.. can u give it back to me hmm if you dont need it.

Memories

2011-10-25T21:11:00.000+08:00

The 18th day

I cant forget the moment when I fell asleep, leaning onto you. I so wanted to do anything just to be back at that moment. I so wanted to talk to you... but I swallowed every of the urge back, with all my strength.

Difference

2011-10-24T21:03:00.000+08:00

The 17th day

The overnight work has drained me out. Cant focus much on guarding it today. When I was having dinner, I know what is missing... where is the difference... but I swallowed everything back...

Dear brain,

I told you to stop thinking, but you never listen as well. So we're together in this.

Regards
Heart

my heart asked

2011-10-23T23:27:00.003+08:00

how are you? are you doing fine?

No other ways

2011-10-22T10:26:00.001+08:00

The 15th Day

I'm lost...and I'm afraid of making things worse. I'm sorry...but I have no other ways out but to hide. You didnt do anything wrong, believe me. Because I found out where the main problem lies. It's the past....Im sorry but im too afraid to do anything.. anything that might lead me back to there.. im really sorry..

Time... doesnt heal anyone.. It just cover the tears until someone manage to come into your heart again.

Escaping Confession

2011-10-21T18:30:00.001+08:00

The 14th day

I chose to avoid. I'm so sorry... But I think this is the best way for now. It's lousy but it's the strongest medicine so far... It works well with time. I have no other ways out... I'm sorry.....

To heal, I have to be selfish this time

Remain silent

2011-10-21T00:37:00.001+08:00

The 19th day

Just returned home after a long day of project. Fortunately, the pizza did its job for being a good motivation, to our stomach and brain. And yea, tml is friday. Feel rather reluctant to believe it. I'm not prepared..... but time wouldn't allow me to say so.. I dont need strength, but please, at least let the pain subside a little when i hold my breath. At least, let me believe I can do it. I'm sorry...

The resting heart

2011-10-18T21:16:00.001+08:00

The 11th day

Rainy day. Chanced upon an interesting quote. It said, "At some point, you have to realise that some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life." Letting go is not giving up, but accepting what you cant change. Let it fly, girl. Let if fly as far as it wants...

P.S. Friday is coming. You have to think, girl.

The loosening string

2011-10-17T23:25:00.000+08:00

你为什么说谎

这次我走开再没有话要说出来
我不想再期待走下去还能多精彩
我不了解你怎能心安
也捉不住你的倔强
可是我知道你你为什么说谎

你说你还在一分一秒也没走开
我想留在这里可是这一切已太晚
我不能再像从前一样
为我们的明天疯狂
你不必解释你为什么说谎

你不能说我没有爱过
说我没等过难过我也想说
也许能重来我却还是沉默
你一直问我的心到底在不在
问我怎能不遗憾就丢失了爱
而我的泪怎么就流下来

10th day

Everything looks and goes on normally, just like every other days. The sky is still clear, the weather is still as hot as yesterday, the flowers is still blooming with smiles. Yet, when lies come into play, everything turned to black and white. instantly. Sweet memories are just another lie.

P.S. Truth and Trust. They tear your heart in twice the speed

Kite like you

2011-10-12T20:43:00.000+08:00

5th Day

Trying real hard to stay focused. It's exceptionally difficult with this rainy weather and the song that keeps revolving inside my head. My friend told me about the Kite theory. She said, "You have to let the kite fly as high as it wants, holding it back will only break the only string you have with it. Don't worry that it flies off too far, it will come back to your side in the end. But, if it's never meant to be yours, then just let it go." It makes sense. Trust is a five letter word but it costs your heart so so much that you wish the pain will subside a little when you hold your breath. Though it was never what I've wished, I will do what I can. I will squeeze all the little sweet memories into the music box and keep it safely. To pretend is difficult, but to ignore is the hardest of all. But..... time... is all we needed. isn't it, Time?

I'm sad.

P.S. Dont hold promises too preciously. The heartache will be even more when you found out you're the only person guarding it.

Stay very still until you think you're good to breathe

2011-10-09T20:58:00.000+08:00

Dear heart,

I told you so, but you didnt listen.

Regards
Brain

A big stone jumped off my shoulder

2011-09-23T22:58:00.003+08:00

At the moment when someone told you things will get okay, you ignored and shrugged off their comments, thinking how the hell they'd know the hell you're going through. After a few days, after things calmed down slightly abit, you understand how magical those words are. Because standing around you are all your friends who truly care. Thank you so much to all my friends who have supported me for the past few weeks. I know that I'm being nasty and irritating. I just couldn't control. The helpless feeling just activated my absolute-defense mode. I thought I have gotten over my past but apparently, Im just trying to pretend. Pretending that I am fine, pretending that I'm strong and smart enough to avoid the same mistakes beautifully. Sorry that I have over-reacted and being too intense. Things shouldnt be so complicated.

To people who have disappoint me, I have learned my lesson well but I wouldn't blame or hate you all. At least, you told me that Im not as strong as I have believed. Pitifully, my confidence and belief cant even stand one tiny little shake. So, I will work hard and move on! Wanying, Ganbarimasu!

Ohmygawd.. I have an assignment which is due on next thusday and I haven even start phrasing the sentences (though I have written them down in point form) 4 pages! *horror* I have a test on next friday as well. Five chapters of notes are waiting for meee.. *fainted* no wanying, you must try your best! JIAYOU AHHHHHH! chiooooooong ahhhh!

P.S. When people don't love you in the way you wanted them to, it doesn't mean they don't love you in their own way.

STOP

2011-09-22T00:51:00.003+08:00

stop saying the word i hate most. I DONT NEED YOU TO REPEAT IT. thanks bye

P.s. People change, so do us

Last Gift, Last Post for u- Peek a boo

2011-09-12T21:00:00.003+08:00

I did a little surprise for u! just something I should have given u long ago but i selfishly kept it with me for a few days. I duno if you share it with anyone else, but I put it at a place where the both of us know. Seriously, i doubt you will notice it. Just worry that it will remain unfound till next year. Will be quite saddening to know that the gifts were left there untouched. But I just dont feel like telling u directly. If you have pay a little attention to what i have been doing, a little care of what i have been trying to say, you should have been able to find it. Found it or not, I wouldnt be angry. During these few weeks, i think im recovering well. I should have accept things as it is and not complaint or grumble for things that i couldnt get but wanted so so much. I gave up choices for you but.... in the end, maybe i really did a bad job, but no regrets... At least, I tried. The only console i can give myself

到底这感觉谁对谁错我已不想追究
越是在乎的人越是猜不透

sky

2011-09-11T21:13:00.000+08:00

Behind every beautiful girl, there's a dumb guy who did her wrong but made her strong.

I smiled when I chanced upon it when surfing the net. Strong may be easy to spell with just 5 letters but it takes so much more for you to reach there. Stay strong, beautiful, because things will get better, it might be stormy now, but it cant rain forever. It's not okies when u lose something that you adored and loved but always remember the moments that made u smile like you have the world. That is all it matters. Move on, dont live in the past..

wanna be like the air~

2011-09-10T20:18:00.000+08:00

Am afraid to open my mouth now. Am afraid that I will say something that I will regret later on.
Am afraid to move now. Am afraid that I will do something that will take me million years to erase the pain. Because I believed, I'll have to bear any consequences that come along. Because I trusted, I need to stay strong no matter what happen. Because I hoped, I will have to live through the happiness or sadness no matter where the ending leads to.

Just did my first ever conducting session today! so nervous that I can feel butterflies in my stomach.. *flutter flutter* hahaha.. luckily the kids were obedient and nice. Am glad that I didnt forget my speech and have great colleagues guiding me along the way. WOOO! more to come :)

BREAK CRISIS

2011-09-08T22:14:00.000+08:00

I need a break terribly. I feel no motivation, no point and no feel to do anything at this moment. Im not trying to be an emo kid or anything. Just plain tired of every little thing at the moment. No matter how much I try to 'fork' out my interest to do my work, the stone monster will come straight into my mind and destroy everything he sees. I would say my mind is currently having a buffer overflow problem. The amount of things I can hold is that much ( ) you cant just press the delete button and overlap the old data with the new data. Neither can you just upsize it like the Mcdonald meals. I have no avenues to release my tiredness and I dont know how to begin with in the first place. No, sleeping doesnt help in this time. I tried to make the feeling goes away by transforming into a pigg and slept for 8 hours. But, there's no effect. Yucks! I feel like a 'biatch' complaining every pieces of my life. This make me feel even more sick. Can someone offer me a shoulder or a hug?If someone is still reading my filled-with-spider-web blog. I think I will really really really feel better with you there.

Im not feeling okay. For now.

2011-09-06T22:00:00.001+08:00

It took me long enough to decide to blog. Not saying that my friends are not good or patient enough. I just need a place to talk. I dont feel like listening to any comments, any recommendations, or any kind of interpretations. Not being stubborn, just wanna calm down

These few days haven't been good for me. All my strength has been used to fight the urge in my heart. In my head, I know some things wouldn't change no matter how much I do or wish but my heart screams out another possibility. I'm just plain tired, from the tug of war. If I have a choice, I will shut my brain and heart for a few months. I don't wanna think logically or emotionally or whatever you can think of. Simply, I wanna malfunction temporarily. Though I already know what decision Im going to make, I just wanna give it a last try. To believe what I have always been believing. You. I wouldnt deny that I was disappointed. I'm disappointed when you doesn't pay attention to what I'm thinking. I cried when you make me feel like a toy. I know you wouldnt care, truly care. You said you dont mean it but you still did it. Your promise gave me a hint of hope to trust. but how am I suppose to continue when im all alone in the end. I understand you have your life. You like what you are having now. And I dont mean to interrupt or destroy it. I will leave slowly, without any notice. I know you may not need my support but I will also be there to give you the blessing of happiness. I will be happy. And I will find that special someone. I hope you will too.

Trust is like a double edged sword. Either it give u happiness or it brings you saddness
Belief is like a plaster. You know there's a wound but you cover it up and hope time will make it perfect once again.

P.S. Live to be happy.

【MV】丁当Della- 洋葱 [yang cong] MV

2011-08-13T20:19:00.000+08:00

沉默是我给你最后的温柔...

丁噹 { 洋蔥 } MV官方高清完整版

2011-08-10T12:25:00.001+08:00

沉默是我给你的最后温柔...

Doesnt MAtter

2011-07-03T12:41:00.000+08:00

Trying to understand life is just like finding back your tears from the sea. There are minimal chances you can get it but does it worth it? What if one day when you woke up, you discover everything you have hold on to is just your illusion? Do you have the courage to start everything over again?

I have always been living my life by the rules. Or maybe you can call it step by step. I dislike sudden changes. I hate to put in all my efforts into something and later find out it's just a waste of time. Learning from my past mistakes, I gave myself all kinds of rules or 'guidelines' to prevent similar things from happening. But I've never wonder, What if.. what if I am letting my life live me instead of living my life. Am i being adaptive or am i simply just afraid to push my way through? It is still a question.

P.S. One person's trauma is another's loss of innocence

wanying

Back to School

2011-06-22T15:13:00.001+08:00

Awww~ Time for school again. Every student's nightmare. The torture and rushing of assignments will kick in soon. PUAR! Anyways, I managed to have a short getaway trip to batam! Not really far though, it's just a 45 minutes ferry from Singapore. But what matters is the fun :) Relax-and-short-till-drop mode is activated! I came back with an empty wallet and I'm serious. haha. Accomodation wise is good. We got ourselves a four or five star hotel. Lucky! Food is cheap but delicious. Scenery is limited but has its own beauty. In all, $125 is worthwhile for a nice 2D1N escape trip to Batam. So much better than going to Genting. *screams FREEDOM* Travelling is the best holiday for both mind and body! (though you accidentally bought some extra fats back. who cares!) The next trip im targeting will be either bangkok or taiwan. I can hear them calling for me already. :D

xoxo

it's okies. It will be okies...

2011-03-18T22:12:00.001+08:00

SLOW LIKE A NINJA TURTLE~

Sometimes, I thought I understand you. But sometimes, you prove me wrong.
Sometimes I thought you cared. But sometimes, you appear like a stranger.
Sometimes I wanna break you and bring you to your knees. But sometimes, I wanna hold you endlessly
Am I looking at the real you?

When I doesnt say much, it doesnt mean I dont mind or care. It's just I prefer to keep it in my mind for the time being, hoping you will realise it yourself. But you're still the same. The little things I have done meant nothing to you, sadly. Will not be silly this time, will let things happen naturally. It's okies~ It will be okies... By the time you wake up, I will be gone long ago...

xoxo,
wanying
I will catch your wave

AH!

2011-03-13T15:42:00.000+08:00

Rude people should have constipation for one week. It'sSoTrue

not so starry night

2011-03-09T01:18:00.000+08:00

It's a late night entry! Kinda feel like writing all my negative feelings away. I think I really really really think too much, assume too much and wonder too much. When i really care abt something or someone, u have my full attention. My brain will auto generate all the possiblities and whether i should do this or do that. I would say more like a mind map, with everything planned and predicted accordingly to my thoughts. It's abit of like psycho ~ *kinda scary* but it's really really tiring. maybe i should say im too tensed up? because im afraid to lose something i deemed precious, i will take any risk in order to safeguard it? or maybe im just a plain sore loser who wants everything? Sometimes, i will ask myself to take a deep breath and chill. But sometimes, the facts can be so harsh that i make myself stay alert at all times. And because of this persistent changes, relax tense relax tense, i lose all my focus in the end.. I found a dumb person when i look in the mirror. Is that really worth it? I always asked myself. But till now, unfortunately, i cant give a definite answer.

Cheers!
Chloe

2011-02-18T22:30:00.001+08:00

那次流过的泪让我学习到
如何祝福如何转身不要
在眼泪体会到与自己拥抱
爱不是一种需要
是一种对照
爱虽然很美妙
却不能为了寂寞
又陷了泥沼

爱要耐心等待仔细寻找
感觉很重要
宁可空白了手等候一次
真心的拥抱
我相信在这个世界上
一定会遇到对的人出现

Decided to hide until I get back my control and my logical thinking.

A recuperate day - Live happily.

2011-02-14T14:39:00.000+08:00

I thought you will be different. I thought I'm strong enough. But you failed miserably... or maybe it was me who failed miserably all along. I'm really glad I have my family and friends supporting me. Without them, who's gonna help me find back all the little pieces of my heart, who's gonna be there to give me all the little warnings, and who's gonna be there just to say "It will be okay~".

Im just pretty upset that I met the bad ones in life. But the world continue to spin and I continue to breathe. Im not losing hope but not holding too much either. It's the best way to safeguard whatever I have left.

BIG decision

2011-02-07T20:31:00.000+08:00

Gonna do something BIIIIIIG tonight, pls let everything be good!

2011-02-05T19:52:00.002+08:00

I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides~

2011-02-05T19:22:00.000+08:00

ROARS!

Im trying my best to be friend with cutie MATH. Doing assignments during CNY is really hOrrible but at least it's quite peaceful =) minimal distraction! Hooray!

HAPPY RABBIT YEAR!

Let's hope this year will be 1000000000000000000x times better than last year! I wanna go TAIWAN & bangkok =) Life isn't easy, treasure the moments that you wont wanna miss. Learn from mistakes and move on. Dont be foolish. again.

Double Cheers!

just another truth~

2011-01-26T23:59:00.001+08:00

Do you know when your heart sensed something is wrong, it will give a loud warning sound just like when someone breached into your security system, you will get those BEEP BEEP sound. You assume it will just stop after some time, but it just continue to BEEP so loud and obvious, like a monk is reciting right next to u, that you have to come out from your cave to face it eventually. Yes, this is what I'm experiencing now. And I hate it. Totally. Because it's telling me that what I've believed so far is just another mistake. Damn!

P.S. Just stop BEEP-ing, will you? please.

Up to here

2011-01-15T00:48:00.000+08:00

Am tired of how people can make use of you and make it so natural that you yourself thought that it's part of your obligation. Be it in a nice way or disgusted way, it's still the same. It's just that one is stabbing you from the back and another is stabbing right in front of your eyes. Not all people in your life are like this but definitely, there'll be a few who really make your life real bad until to the point where your strong innocence shattered and evaporated. And then, we try to make ourselves feel better by claiming it's just a part and parcel of growing up.

P.S. Innocent? No. I just held what I believe in.

2011-01-14T11:27:00.000+08:00

I don't feel good. I don't feel good. I don't feel good.

It's not something like a bad hair day. You have this unsettling feeling in you and it accumulates and follows you for days. I don't know where it came from or how it started but definitely starting to make me feel edgy. Soon, I will become a paranoid monster. Omg.

Stay calm cwy!

too familiar

2010-12-05T23:17:00.001+08:00

象白子的天真反复被你伤得好深
相爱不需要理由离开也没有理由挽留

isnt it...

can u hear me?

2010-11-14T10:50:00.000+08:00

Every Morning, I wish

you have the same sweet dream as me
you think of me
you can imagine im smiling
and you smile together with me

Every night, I wish

you can give me a hug so that I can hug you too
you can share your moments with me so that i can be part of yours
you can see me smiling
and you smile together with me

2010-11-07T11:57:00.002+08:00

i dint realised you caused such a big effect. u're dangerous.

2010-11-06T22:11:00.001+08:00

she's sad..but she know it too well. And she left, leaving it behind.

story end okies. thats all. no more no more no more no more no more. not gonna change anything, not gonna change my habit, not gonna affect my mood, not gonna be an idiot, not gonna try, not gonna do whatever im doing now again. dumbass

2010-11-06T12:18:00.002+08:00

she thinks and she thinks and she thinks again..

only if she know what is coming..

2010-11-05T22:58:00.000+08:00

i nearly.... did it all over again

wad r u doing... wanying

2010-10-27T16:57:00.001+08:00

it still hurt a little even when i thought i safeguarded my heart

Today im finally able to stop, take a breath, walk slowly, and smile without worrying. And i start to miss everyone and everything. The past moments where i used to smile in a silly way and do things freely. I'm so glad i return myself for that five minutes

2010-10-19T00:03:00.002+08:00

guess u have to face the reality

:(((((

can you please listen to what i wanted to say

2010-09-02T18:15:00.000+08:00

I'm burning right now. The culprit is not the sun but the people who i love. They're my precious gems and I adore them as much as myself. But sometimes, because they knew you will listen and respect them, they submerge themselves into their own pool of self-interest. Without any slight consideration of my side, they decide things based on what they think is the best (to them). When there're any resistance from me, they will make sure to use their 'senior or elder' position to kill every of your reasons. No matter how good the reasons are, they will argue their way through and left you only with one choice - which is to obey the decisions they have decided for you. Please, can you please listen to me? When things are left unsaid, it doesn't mean that I am willing to do it. I was just trying to maintain the good relationship we have. I wanted to be a good girl but I need to be a bad girl some time to pivot up my emotion. When everything is one side down, one day it will just go hay-wired and poof! nothing left. Please dont use the same tactic all the time and expect it to work indefinitely. We're just pretending it's still workable because we respect you. People change, including me, when you start to have your own mindset. I'm not the same little girl who will obey your instruction all the time anymore. I've grown up, I have my priorities and you are in it now. Please dont make me change my mind and decides to strike your name off. I love to be with you. But please, look from my view, see what im trying to convey, hear what my heart is shouting. The girl who you thought to be is not the same anymore. She've grown up with a working brain and she thinks. And her name is not robot.

P.S. Look at me

stop. nothing. end?

2010-08-31T23:19:00.001+08:00

Feeling down down down. I just cant gather enough enthusiam to bring some color into my life for the time being. Yes, i'm in school attending lesson obediently, going out and chilling with friends and living by the lists of rules and responsbility i have set for myself. Basically, everything that is visible looks fine but I have a gut feeling something's not right, or maybe something is gonna happen or maybe it's just my PMS? some craziness I have gained when school just started less than a month. Blah~

Goal is one of the thing I have been taught today. Human's mind are so amazing that sometimes we couldnt answer some of the questions we have set

Is your goal specific?
Is your goal attainable?
Is your goal a goal?

The lecture make me think twice about my so-called goals. Are they real goals or just some thing to feed my hungry self-esteem? Thinking back, maybe it's not related to goals but more to planning, most of time when I planned some big events or activities, it usually end up with nothing. I did put in effort but whenever things go into a mess, my mind follow and will eventually lost interest in it. Once I lost interest, i will be more lazy than any pigs to move my ass into this matter again. Maybe some thing is really wrong with my planning. Some thing that is so crucial yet invisible~ Darn! so much thinking and I can feel all my brain cells are exploding by each second. Please, if you hear me, I need someone to guide me. Some one who is strong and tough enough to teach me and lead me on.

Enough with the emo, let's get back to some topic that are more appealing. I will be meeting tra and xiaoqian tomorrow for a good good dinner! Cant wait for tomorrow to come! :) Life may be harsh but at least we have friends..... and nice food around us! hahaha~ Loves

Cheers!
Chloe

P.S. The tiredness from the soul will not subside that easily.

You dont have to be superman to be strong

2010-08-29T21:12:00.000+08:00

I have the urge to blog now! I dont really know the reason behind this but I can feel something inside me starts to pile up. It's like playing stacko which you keep laying pieces over pieces until the point it overflowed. Or maybe, in other words, I'm panicking or maybe... freaked out.

There're so many things on my mind now. Family, friends, school, work, passion, responsbility.. blah blah blah. I can say my mind now is screwed or it decided to hang on me temporarily. But still, today has been a good day without having to be waken up by the alarm clock. I managed to grab a cup of my bubble tea, sit down on my bed relaxingly and read the fascinating Twilight- Breaking Dawn novel I have borrowed from my friend. The ending was marvelous and I love how stehpanie meyer kept all the thing in suspense until the last part. And that is when I understand why everyone is claiming that the novel is much more interesting than the movies. The novel is like a bubble tea with lots of pearls while the movie is just the empty cup. So I guess you should know by now how much you have left out.. hahaha.. comeon! the thickness of the book dont bits people :P

Apart from that, I managed to catch some videos and movies online too! The karate kid & The Prince of Persia! Both movies are fairly good and well-plotted. All pretty went well and smoothly except my printer! I seriously think it's toying with my feeling and testing the bottomline of my patience! Double printing manually can give you a extreme headache too. sigh~ That is why you should never be captivated by the golden word "All-in-one". Yes, they have scan, photocopy and print but where the hell is the automatic double-printing function! argh!~

Shall end here for today. I really feel better now :)
P.S Oh man~ I'm craving for koi ~

wordless

2010-08-01T22:28:00.000+08:00

I'm just so upset by how words can actually hurt people. sometimes, I do really wanna find someone to talk to but it's just so difficult for me to form it into words.

No wanying no

2010-07-18T00:49:00.001+08:00

My room..... It's really beyond words i would say. Tomorrow! im gonna make sure it will be way better than wad it suppose to be! Schedule has been packed like sardine for these few weeks. Come to think of it, I dint really get to rest like what i have promised myself to.. hmmm~ except the one week holiday in Malaysia.. i dont know how life can be that busy but sometimes im really tired of claiming time is not enough.. Time management is a hard topic, doesnt it? hehe

Just came back from friend's party~ was fun and filled with smiles as usual.. Have been some time since every of us gathered together. I really miss them much :) lets hope the next meetup will be sooner than soon. Went to FOW pre-camp in the morning. Get to meet some friends and played some station games. heh~ the people are quite interesting but i still dont have much confidence in myself being Group Leader for the freshies. STressed *.*

okies! i shall stop here for today.need to force myself to sleep early and drink tonnes of water from now on! sensitive skin problem is recurring again.. oh nooooo~

P.S. dont wanying dont

Cheers!
Chloe

Love yourself before you love another

2010-07-10T16:32:00.000+08:00

Am glad that at least the mess you had created became a caution warning sign.

Well, today i woke up with a surprise - a swollen lip. Couldn't recall anything but most probably is some blur mosquito have treated my lip as their late night supper. Weird but come to think of it, it's actually quite funny when you woke up with a sexy hotdog lip and staring at yourself in the mirror thinking 'how did that mosquito do it'. hahaha!

Just had my lunch and sitting in the kitchen with a cup of nicely-brewed green tea beside me. Luxury? Enjoying? yea! for god damn sake, you never know how much i have gone through for the past weeks. Dealing with busyness and rushing with time arent a fun job actually. But yesterday was fun and enjoyable. I gave myself a treat by deeming it as a shopping day! hahaha! usually thats how women release their stress, isn't it? Went from far east to Ion and fixed my dinner in Pomo and went home with all the victory goods. REALLY IN LOVE WITH GSS! :)

Everything feels good and in place now! even the weather is in a good mood today (not too hot, not too cold) Just one more thing, and thats all i ask for

Cheers!
Chloe

If and only if

2010-06-10T00:27:00.001+08:00

Feeling tired and restless. Should be sleeping now but just couldnt yet. argh!

Today is a great day! Although Im super duper late for my morning lesson, it was fun! And I manage to go back to SP with Mel to have our long-waited chicken rice and lemon tea. Combat today was good (though the teacher is troublesome) and the tutition after that went well. Managed to get a cup of my favourite passion fruit red tea before I went home :)

Everything went well until my friend mentioned something.I know the person said it's just a joke but it just hurt me a little. I really really realy tried my very best to accomodate everyone's expectations but it seems that it's not working in the way that I thought. I can only said .... maybe.. just maybe.. im too okie with anything until to a point that my opinion and feelings doesnt matter anymore. If only I have a little of the thing here and there, maybe the situation will change. Being troublesome is a problem, but being easy-going may be as worst as the previous. I dont know.. maybe u can tell me?

*stare* and *sigh~*

Goodnite!

Cheers!
Chloe

It's heavy but it still go on

2010-06-04T14:15:00.000+08:00

It has been a long time since I last typed an entry on my bed. I guess life is really busy for everyone, it's a stage which everyone have to been through when things are no longer just cartoons, candy and bedtime stories. Even when im lying on my bed now, my mind couldnt stop thinking/worrying about stuff. Families, friends, school, work, money.. lots and lots of things are there for me to ponder. Im not a pesimistic person but today I guess I want to be one. To share my secret and worries with a blog that doesnt have much readers, maybe one or two? or even none of them~ but still it will give me some sort of release to speak my feelings out

Families- With no doubts, I have a wonderful family. I have an awesome dad who will always be there to care for us and protect us. Despite of his long-working hours, he will make sure he will call home during his break to make sure everything is alright. He never fails to remind us to lock our door safely and to drink more water and eat on time. I have a cute mum who likes to sing and never fails to give her children advices when they met troubles in life. She will always satisfy our wants and needs as long as it is within her ability. I have a charming brother who never fails to get on my nerves. He have a devil mouth but whenever I need his help, he will be there as a brother. In that past 20 years, they've been the ones supporting and guiding me wholeheartedly without any condition. But in the past 20 years, I have been creating troubles, throwing temper,screaming at them for being over-protective and too naggy, wasting my dad hard-earned money and being ignorant and naive. I'm really sorry dad, mum and bro. I really do love u all.

Friends- I'm really happy that I have met them in this lifetime. They are the ones who know you the best other than your family. They know what's ur favourite color, your favourity idol, your dream guy and your favourite dishes. I would said family are our body and friends are like oxygen. You need both of them in order to survive. Sometime, they are able to give comments which actually make you think hard on the things you have once insisted on. They have been my supporting pills in life but eventhough i dont want to admit, I know that I have been taking them for granted sometime. Im sorry my friends. I really do love you all

School - This is the last topic i wanted to talk about. I have actually gotten sick of studying and I really cant help thinking of giving up. I have been studying from primary school to secondary school to polytechnic and lastly university. This process may be short in words but the real-life process of it is really dry and tedious. You study and take a exam and you get a certificate but it's not enough and so you have to go through the same process again. Even if you have a passion in the first place, the vicious cycle of studying will somehow diminish it unknowingly. But that was what I had thought, after watching an old movie yesterday, it changed. Life is not like a game which you can restart unlimited number of times after you died. Since there's only one chance, why not live your life to the fullest? Dream the biggest dream and believe is the magic word as always. Im sorry me, I really do love you.

Friend, if u're reading this, please dont give up and stop moving. It's okie to take a rest and think before you move off again. Never switch off your engine because you have still yet to see what's in front waiting for u :) There's 6 gears in life.
Switch to neutral gear when you're tired
Switch to 1st gear when you're still finding an answer
Switch to 2nd gear when you found it
Switch to 3rd gear when you're ready
Switch to 4th gear when you're right on target
Switch to 5th gear when your feeling tell you so
Sorry there's no reverse gear!

POWER RANGER! gogogo! LOL :)

Cheers!
Chloe

my heart's whisper

2010-05-09T22:08:00.000+08:00

HOOO! here come my long-waited 3 months holiday :) yay!

Im really glad i have a long break before school starts again. At least, I have some time to really think and to settle certain things.

These few days have been great. Lost something but learned something as well. But it really feel good to realise what's missing and what you really looking for. After a long run, it's time to take a rest :)

P.S. believe is the magic word

2010-04-21T16:41:00.000+08:00

Exams are coming. The feeling of helpless will bestow on me once again.

Life tell lies

2010-03-28T12:04:00.000+08:00

It had been so long since i last updated my blog. One month, 2 months or maybe more ? I have lost count of it actually..hahaha.. Well, school is really too shag and too busy for me =( i dunno how it does it but university life is draining out my energy and enthusisam bit by bit. You feel good when u are at home or whereever other than in school, but once the thought of going to school appears, it just shut you off completely. I'm just forcing myself to school and to study just because to study. There's not passion or fun you can find from it. Maybe I'm still not adapted or i simply doesnt want to get adapted. I just missed poly life... ALOT... we may be busy but we enjoyed ourselves to the fullest. Lecturers are just like our friends and you know every bits and pieces of school; where is the shortcut, which foodcourt sell nicer and cheaper food. But, i know i cant backward my life back to poly time anymore, so i will stop grumbling for now. *trashed*

Exams is drawing near and im having my Java Practical Test next saturday. I hope i can pass it T.T For now, i am left with 3 econs lecture webcast to study, 4 modules tutorial and 2 projects research to do. This is how i spent my sunday and i cant believe it. ISNT SUNDAY MEANT FOR RESTING!! *deflated* hahahah
P.S. tell me wad i can do. im lost~

chloe

2010-02-07T19:24:00.002+08:00

我相信终有一天我也可以遇到一个懂得珍惜我在乎我的人
不管我有没有钱不管我漂不漂亮
他都会永远爱我永远爱我...
-Down wih Love-

I cantttttttttttttttttttttt believe today is sunday already~~ T.T oh man... i think someone have just pressed the fast forward button in my life.. and for "gooder" sake, he pressed it when it's my holiday time! argghhh~~~ On friday, I went to Si Ling Primary School to re-attend my primary school education, sincerely hoping and praying that the time will reverse.. Hahahaha.. nonsense~~ i went there to bring the primary 5 students to their Chinatown (bullockcart water) excursion :D It's my first time experience and it was good even though my soul was about to fly away when trying to settle down the kids. The day is hot and extremely humid but the trip was enriching. I managed to learn some interesting racial taboos and the history behind the different temples. The tour guide, shirlyn, is my senior in both polyechnic and university. hahaha.. but anyways, it was fun doing this kind of work. I have enjoyed myself as an adult and learned like a children. HAHAHA! On Saturday, managed to meet up with secondary butties to have a birthday celebration for YANQING, the beggar's king. lol we met up quite early and did some shopping in town before we have our dinner at Hans. I think the quality of the food is not that good like last time anymore. If you let me choose between pepper lunch or hans given the same spending budget, i will go for pepper lunch. The food and environment there is much more better .. hahahha.. Oya~~~ i remembered joseph is holding his activites on saturday at jurong point. It's really a pity i dint manage to catch him =( it's a bigggggggggg regret.. next time i will definitely go!!! *ermmm.. if not many people* lol! As for today, im stuck at home!!~~~~ stuck by my endless tutorial assignments and exercises T.T and now i wish i am a bird so that i can fly away from here and never touch any homework again! muhahahha

P.S it's a silent i miss u

u gave me the regrets

2010-01-31T10:29:00.000+08:00

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never ever the same.

Went out with yq and ly yesterday~ Managed to get 2 tees and 1 jeans at a superb price :D the tees are originally selling at $39.90 each. I tried the tees before, if im not wrong, it was 2 weeks ago. I was still telling my friends how much i liked the tees,how it perfectly fits me but $39.90 is just too -.-" for tees. However, to my sweetest horror, just when i pass by the shop, they are having a Buy 2 @ $30 sale!! I know some of you may think im a cheapo or whatsoever but the feeling is so good when you get something you really wanted at a lesser expense. :D As for the pant, the original price was $89 and I managed to buy it at only a price of $39. hehe.. discount just make u grin :P

Next saturday, we will be having a shopping-cum-dinner celebration for yq. I plan to get some accessories and one more bottom to round up my cny shopping spree~

Anyways, my left eye gotten infection again =( have to wear specs for one week to let it recover. Eyes are the window to our soul. Dont kill yourself in this way please~

P.S never realise

The Recipe

2010-01-24T17:06:00.000+08:00

It takes

1 teaspoon of patience
2 cups of caring
3 dozes of enduring
Mix with different colors of courages

Using slow heat and stir it in a direction you deemed fine until it attains its shape.

P.S. Dont forget to say 'I love you' to fix everything up :)

the first time i heard from u

2010-01-18T23:20:00.001+08:00

TADA !

I'm here again :D

Just to share my favourite song~ hahahah

P.S because i do

Fireflies

2010-01-17T13:25:00.002+08:00

"If you ever want something badly, let it go. If it comes back to you, then it’s yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never yours to begin with"

-Diana (Indecent Proposal)

Maybe wrong maybe right. You will have to find out yourself~

Weekend is a fastforward while weekday is in slow-motion. Everyone hate it but no people bother to change weekday to weekend.. hahahs.. we should have 6 days of resting and 1 day of work.. wouldnt that be WONDERFUL! lols... Hmmm~ managed to catch "Jump" with sweet Yifang and friends on saturday. It was a nice-good-laughing-enjoyable movie and i love shopping with her! she's my walking atm that day. muhahaha

P.S if only

Little Friday

2010-01-15T12:04:00.001+08:00

It's good to start something that is good for the eyes

hahahha.. Today is my first no-school-friday! So, Im here to commemorate this absolutely fantastic day. The weather is good with wind kissing my cheeks, I treat myself a donut for my breakfast and one cup of heavenly-scented green tea. I love how everything feels like now, recovering but not forgetting to move on and to smile to yourself. *grins* I just chatted with nana yesterday regarding her piano lesson and believe me, I was really motivated to start learning too :) It's time to dig some information from google or any recommendations from you guys? i dono.. tell me what you think ;) hahaha Anyways, im thinking of getting a haircut too. It's not about the hotness of weather, maybe actually some part of it, but Im just tired to see the same old hairstyle in the mirror for the past few years.. hahaaha.. hmmm~ marked in my To-Do lists too! :P any good salon to recommend?? let me know too! ^^

P.S Not gonna change anymore

A little patch here and there

2010-01-14T00:26:00.001+08:00

I have to give a round of applause for my mum. Sometimes, she really kicked my ass off. Not in the sense of annoyance but the nobleness of her and the little remainder she can give. She has always managed to look things from different angles and think out of the box. Maybe some of my "creativity" was inherited from her too. lols! But, I would said.. I have an awesome mum and i love her :)

Anyways, school started this week. I have a straight 6 hour lectures for monday and thursday! This explains why monday is blue. But to compensate my misery, i get my friday off, which means no lessons on friday :D Yay! I'm still thinking whether i should join some clubs.. hmm~ noted in my To-Do list :) The weather are not behaving themselves these few days, the sun are so hot and i believe that if i stand out there for more than 15 seconds, my skin will start burning.. lols! Oyea! my new bed arrived yesterday.. having bad backache for the past few weeks.. i hope the new mattress can improve my back condition. It's really miserable to feel like an old lady, with my back as sore as a lemon everyday. Let's see how things go~~ consulting a doctor is just way too tsktsk~ troublesome la -.-

thinking of attenidng piano lesson too but i have to give it some thoughts before that. hmmm~

P.S. never learnt her lesson and to find herself looking at the shattered heart again

will be back soon

2010-01-13T21:52:00.002+08:00

2009-12-08T23:11:00.004+08:00

MyDevilish's notice..

hi guys, im gonna close my blog for a certain while due to personal reason =) thanks for reading my broken english posts for all this time! I'll be back... soon i hope..

-Becox i had enough of it....

I believe it will be a release.

2009 has been a tough year for me. With too many feelings and insecurity filling my life, it had made it difficult for me to see what is the the truth, what i really wanted and what i should deserve. Well i guess, im just not mature enough to differentiate the difference between black and white and the grey area. I just simply catgeorize it using my own opinions and way of thinking because i have always thought that since it's my world, my rules should be enforced.

This year has been too tired for me. You gave me the courage to step out, the strength to believe what i dont..yet you are also the one who push me back deeper into the darkness. The memories that we share together will not be kept in my heart but to be forgotten.. It will hurt but it will be better. Your promises has always been blank blank and still blank. Even if I have tried, it doesnt make any differences anymore. My birthday... I just hope it doesnt end up with others doing the same thing like you.. Your time, ur feelings, ur responsibility is always the highest priority. The things you deemed right den it is right.. you never bother to think otherwise.. You can always come out with reasons to cover up what u have done and i know it's a way to maintain the special attention u r getting and not for me.. It really hurt to know that ur feeling is being taken for granted of. It's really too much that i can just smile if off. Just think it silly, treat urself as me and me as you..

This time. It will mark as the end. because i 've had enough of everything.

2009-12-02T11:12:00.003+08:00

A smile that light up this whole town.

OMG! Finally exams are finally over and here comes my beloved H O L I D A Y S *grins* Wooo~ I have been waiting so long for all these excitements to come... and here it is.. the time to slack and lie around just anywhere u want.. O yes! :D hehehehe..

Met with ITP lamers yesterday and we have so much fun :D Everything is just so funny.. mitra's washing bowl noodles and her over creative brother, dako's after u caught up with 2nd runner, u r the 1st in place and dako's friend, shirong, mary and peter! hahahah... Friends just make ur day brighter everyday! cheeeeers :D

Will be meeting Yifang later in the afternoon! *grins* Have beeeeeen so long since i last met up with her. Gonna enjoy to the fullest! wahahha.. Tml will be going ah min's buttday celebration and Sat steamboat with secondary butties~ woooo! I miss every of them..

Cya soon! :D~

P.S. changing back

2009-11-29T20:48:00.005+08:00

Because they exist together.

A revolution from black to white will be a good start =)
Temporary blogkin for the time being~

P.S something is meant to be learn and felt by something on ur left. Without words, it means more, my sweetest. You know this time, I can break through with smiles.

2009-11-27T13:04:00.002+08:00

Stressed.

Exam period now. Super duper stressed.. didnt do well for my papers.. haix.. two more papers to go, Singapore studies and Laws.. i hope i can pass all this time.. JIA YOU!!! chiong ah!!!!!!!

P.S. it's still ticking

2009-11-18T23:12:00.002+08:00

To feel with your heart.

it feels so gd to type this entry using a windows PC.. I really missed windows and their msn so much ! mac msn is just too plain and too dull.. but u cant expect much since mac and windows r enemies and who will be so noble to develop applications that will help ur enemy.. so eeyeeer.. i can say mac msn is worse than the oldest version of windows msn >.< Am considering to install windows into my mac... I misses my games too T.T

Exam is drawing too near and life is too squeezy.. cant help feeling tired.. haix.... everything is just so .....

P.S wad can i do...

2009-11-11T17:02:00.002+08:00

Fighting with maths now~ having a retest on this coming friday at 8 30am sharp!! -.- why cant they set it at a later time.. 8 30am is too early la.. haix.. haha

Pls give me all your luck and let me pass this time! >.< chiong ahhh!!!~~~

2009-11-09T19:04:00.002+08:00

Hey prettie boys and handsome girls! haha

I feel so relieved today~ you know wad.. i think i can do it this time.. to breathe like last time.. and to smile like I always do.. These few months are like a storm to me, with troubles and unhappiness falling down and suspicious striking across my sky. It's really tiring and too much for me to bear and so..... i learn to let go some of it.. It's not easy and took me so long to manage that.. but in this world, u does not need to own everything but u can choose to treasure it. Forcing your way through may be deemed as a heroic move but sometimes, you just have to let it be... My war...i have been fighting for so long... so long that i eventually lost my smile during the journey.. but this time.. i know i can find it back by myself.. im sure i can...

Anyways, i have finally received my contact lenses. I have waited for like 2 months for it??? the shop took toooooo long to have it deliver to my house..

P.S. my last request

2009-11-05T18:10:00.002+08:00

Meow!

An hour ago, i was really really sad of how boring my life is and how miserable state i am in. But not anymore after i watch the videos. it really cheers me up =) encouragement are a vital factor of soup opera. thats y i always hug it!

Am looking forward to december holiday! but before that i have to clear a math quiz and a java pract test which fall on tomorrow and the day after respectively and 5 major exam papers at the end of nov. Haix.. it's totally discouraging and sad and emo and disappointed.. -.-"

But after suffering for another one more month, i get to do watever i want! My motion is to sleep without worries, play without worries and slack without being scolded! Im gona embrace my holidayssssss and relax every seconddddd!

P.S. MY long term goals! =D

2009-10-31T11:46:00.004+08:00

unhappiness must be spilled out to allow new happiness. bearing may be a medicine but when the effects run out, the side-effects will be worst than ever. trying is to give yourself another chance to lie to yourself. being noble is just an excuse not to face the truth.

Hold your chin up high and dont let go of your last proud.

Im not angry but just disappointed.. many things didnt turn up the way i expected it to be. blame on the stories and soup opera.. they gave people a bad illusion. Am i really the one who is making everything worse? Am i the one who really thinks too much? i dunno, because u r like a mystery even if i claims to know u well. Either you r an angel who brings light to my town or u r the devil who could destroy everything with just a single click.

If you love somebody, let them go.. if it's for the best...you can do it somehow..

P.S a normal weakling's thoughts

2009-10-23T21:45:00.002+08:00

my little reliance on u

Finally, Math quiz and java test is down! Now im left with 2000 words essay and java take-home assignment, the most brain cell challenging assignments. omg!! it's a vicious cycle seriously. School is a monster which is trying to digest u over and over again, until nothing useable is left in u and den, you will be passed out of its body as...... O.O" nice creativity uh.. lol

But nonetheless, tml is still my precious holiday! so hard to get just one day off.. Saturday is my love =D *hug it to sleep*

Im treasuring every second i have now.. till tml .. Freeeedom! bonjour~ =D

P.S. Im still a little scare

2009-10-20T00:30:00.002+08:00

r u?

To my horror,I have to admit at this point of my life.. I think my EQ is below average. wad the heck?! Went to did some quiz but the result is totally horrible. The first thing that came to my mind is that the quiz must be just some random trash for u to kill time but that changes when i continued to read the explanation. T O O T -.- I have to do something to it. LOL

Anyway, went to watch movie with friends today~ I forgot the movie title but it's a nice movie especially when you need something that isnt too action-filled or too romantic stuff. A good one to relax ur mind i would say. If i rmb correctly, it's called "Julie & J.... something". i forgot lol

but well, i wasted my weekend again. Just lie on my bed, watched tv and surfed net for the whole day. My mind refused to touch anything that is related to study. but seriously, I HATE SCHOOL! too much to complaint and too little to make me be positive about it. in conclusion.. I STILL HATE SCHOOL!!!! and tml my class end at 7pm which totally pissed me off right now. I can feel all my cells are fidgeting when i just think of school. The feeling is !@$#@%..

P.S. it makes me think.

2009-10-13T01:11:00.005+08:00

Misses?

Finalllllyyyyyyy~ im done with my java assignment, my singapore studies powerpoint slide and documents~~ It's a torture to my brain cells. *A big round of applause for them* lol

Did my english oral presentation today. I think it's okay, nothing special though.. even the late for lesson part still remains =x hahaha.. It's extremely fabulously HOT today! actually wore formal attire for the presentation but I was sweating like a dog when i walked to the bus stop. The feeling is so !@@#% until I decided to go back home and change.. and then.. it rains like nobody business in the afternoon.. weird weather and my flu got worse.. Sh!t.. it's !@##$ nooooooo~.. and there's smth wrong with my contact lens.. my left eye is red in color now... -.-

Anyway, tml will be a looooooong day. Class starts on the dot at 8am and ends on the dot at 7pm. boring!!! but i think there's a high chance i will miss the morning math lecture again. The devil subject~ my nightmare.. JUST how do u study math... #$@#%

P.S. a tug of warrr

2009-10-10T22:44:00.003+08:00

i heard u today. =]

Down with a flu and fever.. !@#@$%.. The weather is real bad these few days.. im a gonecase.. With so many homework and assignments yet to be completed, i dunno if i can really pass all my subjects this semester. It's really different with poly.. and it reallly makes me worry! sh!t.. It's time for me to really start my old engine.. if not, retaking modules is my only way out.. nooooooo~..

But anyway, *away from the bad moodies*, I started my "Next-Step" plan today.. It feels good when u have something on your mind and you are working towards it. It will be difficult, but i will try my best to stay in line with it. Old verse *No Pain No Gain*

P.S PLS STUDY, WANYING! *grins*

2009-10-08T19:47:00.002+08:00

A little comfort.

Okie.. I think i just found the next step of my life... hahaha.. it's not really major but something that i have always wanted to try but it doesnt push me to action until now. Life is mystery as usual.. lol maybe school is really that boring that forces me to really look at what i wanted. haha

Life in NUS is dull with so many quizzes, tests, assignments and the coming-soon exams. Im really lost in that blah blah competitive campus and drowned in the pool of hardworking students and geniuses there. Firstly, Im not hardworking. Secondly, Im lazy. Finally Im not a genius. So, where do i actually stand in the school? Dont ask me cox i myself is puzzled by this situation as well. As usual, a simple & lazy person trying to enter a complicated world.. lol

But well, since i know what's my next step should be, I might as well try to balance up my stress so as to survive long enough to carry out my plan..haha.. but still I think i have to study for my java lab test now before i say anything.. haix..

P.S the third day~

2009-10-06T21:57:00.003+08:00

something.

omg~ Im blogging again~ !#@#% Life is just too stress to sit still and quiet!! dont u agree? hahaha.. Uni life has started for more than 2 months but i swear i just cant get use to it. Too fast too furious!! i miss my poly slacking life =D

There's a few tasks on my To-do list.. but.. im lazy by nature.. someone tell me when will i complete it man.. lol
1. Tidy up my room
2. Study Maths
3. Collect my contact lens
4. do something to my 3000 problems, which is my hair
5. Research on Singapore democracy
6. Presentation for English
7. Java assignments
8. Java test
9. Buy some foundation & moisturizer

* a little remainder, i hope it will help -.-*

ahhhhh!!! the whole situation is like a simple & lazy person trying to step into a complicated life. It's a man-made disaster seriously..LOL.. Okie, lets stop on my complaining. The next entry should be a happy one alrite.. if not I shall not update !!! *run off*

P.S. turn it around. u will find something..

2009-10-04T13:55:00.004+08:00

Haix..... -.-

Im so sick of myself for being so !@#$%^.. Everytime I decided on certain things, I can regret in the next minute. LOL I has been emphasizing everyday that I have to let go and forget about it but beware, the devil pops up into my mind every second and destroyed my thin layers of defense i tried to build up. Aiyaaaa.. i know myself i allow tt to happen bcoz i dun want to have any regrets la and i just cant allow things to end up like this.. so i keep trying and trying, hoping i could change something hahaha..which at the same time, forcing myself to a dead end. Contradicting lah~ but life is a mystery~ haha

soooo.. i have decided. Instead of forcing myself, why not just accept it. Trust me, it's so difficult to stop everything in just one decision.Well, You have to face the problem first den you will be able to solve it. you may not own it but you can treasure it.. tts wad life should be.. and I have actually forgot my philosophy of my life!!! RAH! it's all ur fault.. hahaha..

P.S not everything can be achieved through 1 + 1 = 2. But, my future will still have your memories :D

2009-10-02T14:35:00.004+08:00

Shit my Life!

At this second of my life [2 OCT, 5:01PM], I feel like a dumbass, trying to get away my miserable life, doing nothing yet desire everything to turn better with each breath I take. Everything is so messed up right now and the worst is I cant do anything to stop myself or change it. The feeling is like.. millions of horses are running towards you and the only thing you can do is to stare at them. You know you can run, but somehow you just couldnt or maybe u dun wanna to. I dunno. There may be a lot of different factors that are restraining you.. Family, Study, Career, Love, Friends or wadever u could think of. You know you could handle them individually but when everything falls on you on the same day at the same time, it's hell disaster. I know its wrong, I know who will be the one who suffer. I know the hell how much it will costs me. I know i have to move on, I know I have to be focus, but just tell me how when every other part of me refused. They told me life should be the one that you want, not the one you should.

It's never easy.. doesnt it..

I happened to see our past conversation.. im sorry.. only now I realised what do u mean. But Im really contented, because i found wad u have left there.

P.S believeing is a blessing

2009-10-01T00:26:00.002+08:00

It's not gonna come back... doesnt it?

Memories are precious treasure tt everyone owned.I have this special one tt has always been my supporting pillar of my heart. But i understand, i have to leave my world of memories soon. My heart declined but i know u want me to move on.

I love u ah dai. As always, a simple girl loving her simple guy.

2009-09-26T00:07:00.008+08:00

well well well well well..

LIFE is upsidedown~ with our passion buried underneath the "must-do" lists in our lifes. ARGH! it sux, but nobody seems to care. somebody called it reality though~ *throw into the rubbish bin*

Hell~ Holiday ending soon and im still stuck with my assignments. Fighting within myself as to do it now or tml. But I think i prefer the latter ;p I'm tired, I'm not in the study mood, I'm busy with other things, I dont have a pen right now or wadever it is.. LOL im not tt lazy, im superb lazy when it comes to..
H O M E W O R K.
It simply drains my blood away T.T

Conclusion----> University = hopeless

shit! >.<

this is my life now~

fml.

Im tired of being the perfect child. Seven years ago, I fixed it into my life. Seven years later, i cant erase it... no matter how hard i try. Tell me.. it's alright to give up. Will you?

2009-09-24T00:00:00.001+08:00

tell me im right ah.......................

2009-09-15T16:16:00.005+08:00

Totally pissed off. Wad she did is so obvious.. If you really know wad you want.. for dabian sake.. just get it arite.. Dont talk any shit to me or others. I dunno if u're challenging me or showing off or wadever business u have but ur actions totally disgusted me. I dont know u well but If you think u're winning, den u are~ im out of the game. Stop planning all these little motives around me.I know wad u r up to and trying to convey. Well.. I know i dun have a perfect life but im sure i dun need ur little "surprises" either. OUT !

you know who u r..

2009-09-03T22:14:00.002+08:00

都是背了太多的心愿流星才会跌得那么重

2009-08-31T19:13:00.002+08:00

Yoooohooo Guys & Hot babes!

It has been long since I last updated my post. xD

Life is real busy for the past few weeks. Yea~ School opened~ Beside having to adapt to a whole new environment, Im grappling with the demands of university with the responsibility of my future, expectations of others or both. Sometimes, Life is not entirely about passion. You may have the passion in sleeping everyday of your life away but other hassles of life just popped in subconsciously. BLEH!

I have piles and piles of assignments waiting for me and it's never-ending. Apparently, wad I've been trying to work out is useless. It's just like a vicious cycle without any leisure or relaxation. Univeristy is eating me alive. RAH! I know it's just the beginning of the semester, and people said I will get use to it soon. But, wad the heck? I dont want to get use to a colorless life for pancake sake!
T_T *cry*

Haix~ I know I have to manage my life at some time in the future. But..really.. not now..

P.S September, go easy on me T_T

2009-08-18T16:49:00.005+08:00

Our story
to be continue..

2009-08-11T18:11:00.005+08:00

Booyah!

School started today and I was late for 30 minutes. >.< why? Becasue I was lost in the campus @#$% and there was a traffic jam which delayed my time for like 15 minutes RAH! By the time I manged to figure out the directionless big map, the lecture started alrdy and I have to hide my face when I go in.. muhahaha! Good start : D~~

Carried on with Java lesson later in the afternoon... Blah Blah~ You never know how much it takes me to stay awake~ Java is evil~ It grabs people to sleep eternally :3

Their textbook can crush you into tomato juice~ Enormous and Heavy (*take note, I dint use the word "big", cox it's irrelevant to use it when u see the book urself) Muhehe xD

Fixed my wireless network for NUS and went back home. But little suprises just pop out mysteriously without your knowing. But this time, it's a >.< I was on Bus 185, and there's these four sec students that just boared the bus. And just when the 1st & 2nd student were about to climb the little steps to the seat behind, the bus driver,amazingly, stepped on the brake like nobody business. And there they go~ One by one~ *dong dong Dong DONG* The four of them almost formed a human pyramid. I was like wad the >.<" even if the bus driver are braking for the red lights, but can he do it more gentlely? yea~ we maybe strong human beings but we have a weak heart, that is vulnerable to almost everything. : D~ for me though LOl

Well, you can actually guessed wad happened later. Argue argue~ debate debate~ complaint complaint ~ then back to normal~ =.=

Weird ~

P.S. I took away the tagboard and friends links at the moment oh ^^
All these is to grow stronger

2009-08-08T18:49:00.007+08:00

Welcome back~

Decided to come out with my own templates a month ago and here it is~ Tada!!!~ ^^
I just preferred simplicity compared to the over vibrant world.

Many things have happened. I cant really said that I have out grow my habits or transformed into a perfect little mature girl. But I had gone through it.. just like everyone do.

The tiny true reality behind everything, the tiny little realization you made after every events. I dont deny my heart aches, I dont deny every breakdown when I think of it. I know, I always know.. I have to face it. I know I know ah~~ stop hiding my pigu !

School will start next week, marking the next stage of my life. Cross my fingers and pray hard hard >.<

2009-06-18T12:33:00.004+08:00

I heard their stories
I don't know them well
yet, they are the ones to make me think real hard
Blessed with a doubtless clear sky
A full trolley of thanks to them =)

P.S. it's between a line.

2009-06-13T22:58:00.000+08:00

Just two tiny pieces of truth,
is all it takes to send her efforts crumbling down
is all it takes to threaten her heart

She have always know
She have always always know
yet she waited, wished and hoped
Wad a silly..
to turn out everything is nothing

Silly her..
She have been told to let go
She have always always been told to let go
But, she declined
insisting tomorrow will always be better
She pretended to be okie
She pretended to be happy
but deep inside, she knew something is disappearing day by day
yet, she decided to continue

She laughed at herself
thinking why cant tomorrow just be better
She should have expected
One day, she will be left alone in her torn apart world

How she wish to reverse the time
where she could start everything again
where she could abandon all the pain and worry
where she could laugh happily just like she always did

But will she choose to abandon?
it's a silly her afterall..
She chose her route
She will and would endure to the end..
and she always believed..

2009-05-30T10:56:00.005+08:00

I hearts my poly life!

there's where I learnt

there's where I studied

there's where I have to rush for assignment everyday

yet

there's where I met my lovely friends

there's where I found my joy & happiness

there's where I found you..

Happy Graduation!!

With xoxoxo, to all of you

u r my precious~ Muhahaha

= )

2009-05-16T12:17:00.004+08:00

天空的雾来的漫不经心
河水像油画一样安静
和平鸽慵懒步伐压着韵
心偷偷的放晴
祈祷你像英勇的禁卫军
动也不动地守护爱情
你在回忆里留下的脚印
是我爱的风景

我要送你日不落的想念
寄出代表爱的明信片
我要送你日不落的爱恋
心牵着心把世界走遍
你就是庆典，你就是晴天。
我的爱未眠
不落的想念飞在你身边
我的爱未眠

爱的巴士总是走了又停
微笑望着广场上人群
我要把爱全都装进行李
陪我一起旅行

我要送你日不落的想念
寄出代表爱的明信片
我要送你日不落的爱恋
心牵着心把世界走遍
你就是庆典，你就是晴天。
我的爱未眠
不落的想念飞在你身边
我的爱未眠 ~

"Slowpoke Retard, that's an old song already"

Me: "hey!~~~ okie, I'm slow. But I love it! heehee"

Next monday will be my last day in office.. I'm going to miss them~ They're fun to be with! They teaches me alot of new things. =D

Someone's buttday is drawing near.. same goes to graduation day~! Bet all these are going to burn a big hole in my pockets again. Sh!t hahahaha! Im gonna kiss goodbye to my salary again. Sh!t x2 lol

Am thinking to visit my relatives in malaysia during june.. Just a short holiday... These few months have been torturing to me. Way too many troubles and problems cum ma fan~ But it's good everything is proceeding smoothly now. I made the mistake once, but in the end, I still allow it to happen a g a i n . Sh!t x3 hahaha! But it's alright.. Fate just love to play jokes with me -.-

Anyway here's a little happening event. I just get to know it ytd. One day, I went into the washroom to do some touch up and there were some other ladies inside. But I just heck care them even if they look abit weird, wearing heavy makeup and talking in some alien language. I continue to do my touch up... The next day, my colleagues told me.. those ladies.. in the washroom, are working in the lounge as the "miss" a.k.a prostit*es. And that day, I was in the washroom with them.. doing touch up together.. so... does it sound like I'm with them.. Sh!t x4 lol.

And I get to learn.. Sometimes, you just have to pay attention to those little things around you. You might find something surprising =) or something you may never wanna meet >.<

P.S thus, i return.
Sorry to all my lovingly friends out there. I think I have been a bastard these few days. I was having my own Revolution.. for a few days.. haha.. Life is way too tight sometimes. But, I still love all of you!~ Muacks! : )

2009-05-11T17:00:00.002+08:00

I'm eating snake! ahaha...shhhh.. ^^ it's really boring to face the computer all day.. typing all the details =x

Gonna meet ah neh later! hooray! Finally she's not working today.

Life is a mystery~ There's up and down and you have to decide to go the left way or the right. I know it'll be tiring. But for u, I'm willing to.. And this is the way I going to <3 you.

P.S. It's ur silly-ness that is helping me to keep moving.

2009-05-10T21:30:00.002+08:00

Happy Mummy Day! =D

I Love my mum!!!!!!! Hugs with kisses to all mums in the World~

Time flew past. It have been more than a month and I admit it's never an easy one. Everything seems remote to me in the beginning. I have to learn from scratch, just like a toddler, trying his utmost best to make his first step. But, I dun want to give up easily. Bcoz something in me just refused to. And I hope u r too....

Tml is Monday and Monday is blue! say boooo~~ Have to squeeze into the packed MRT sardine again! Life is really a torture when you have to wake up in the early morning and be packed into a sardine container (mrt). Do something, govt! lol .. wad a singaporean way to complain. hahaha

Just went to Jason's 21st birthday party @ Cafe De Mel yesterday! It have been a long time since I met him. Well, everyone's just way too busy =x hahaha. And I was drunk on tt day. Wad a -.-"

P.S. Maybe.. from the start.. I was the one who is trying to win everything with a single chip.

2009-05-05T23:05:00.003+08:00

She asked me, "So... What's the difference?"

I was speechless. o.o

Only then I know.

Only then I realized.

How silly.

And I really think hard.

I replied, "Only time make the difference. "

2009-05-03T01:41:00.002+08:00

I'm creating a revolution for myself! but I wonder will it works.. =X lol

I hearts RAINBOW because they bring colors to my life! =)
but i hearts u more =x